Lessons from Divorce—Rebuilding After Financial and Emotional Devastation

Suzette Vearnon

Introduction: The Unexpected Journey Through Divorce 

No one walks down the aisle expecting their marriage to end in divorce. Yet, in the United States, a divorce happens every 13 seconds. That amounts to 277 divorces per hour, 46,000 per week, and over 4.4 million divorces every year. These numbers are staggering and highlight the reality that many women face when their marriages don’t go as planned. 

In a recent episode of the Her Money Story podcast, host Felicia Gopaul sat down with Suzette Vearnon, who shared her deeply personal and transformative story of marrying and divorcing the same man—twice. Her story is a powerful example of how financial dependency, emotional resilience, and self-reinvention can define a woman’s journey after divorce. 

Whether you’re currently navigating a divorce, contemplating one, or have already moved on from one, Suzette’s story provides valuable lessons on protecting yourself financially, emotionally recovering, and finding your strength after loss. 

The First Marriage: A Fairytale That Wasn’t 

Like many young women, Suzette grew up believing in the idea of Prince Charming. Influenced by fairy tales and soap operas, she thought marriage would solve all of life’s problems. So when the first man who proposed to her came along, she saw it as a sign from the universe. 

“I didn’t take the time to really get to know him,” she admitted. “I was young and naive. I rushed into it, believing love would fix everything.” 

However, within four years, reality struck. Her marriage wasn’t the fairytale she had envisioned, and despite her prayers and efforts to make it work, it became clear that it was time to leave. 

The first divorce, while emotionally painful, was not financially devastating. Suzette had her own job, income, and stability. She left the marriage without significant financial setbacks and focused on raising her son as a single mother. 

The Second Marriage: Financial Dependence and Total Loss 

Years later, after her son expressed a deep longing for his father, Suzette reconnected with her ex-husband. This time, he seemed different—more mature, more responsible, and willing to work on their family. He even promised God that if he got another chance with her, he would be the husband she deserved. 

Believing in second chances, Suzette remarried him. But this time, things were different. 

Unlike their first marriage, where Suzette maintained financial independence, the second time around, she built her entire economic stability around her husband. She worked alongside him in his business as the CFO while he served as CEO. Her salary, home, health insurance, and lifestyle were entirely tied to their shared company. 

But when the marriage failed a second time, she lost everything. 

“I thought the board of directors would recognize my value,” she said. “But when it came down to a choice between him and me, I was the one removed.” 

She walked away from a home valued at $365,000, luxury cars, and the business she helped build. The friendships she had made as part of their social circle disappeared. And, most crushingly, she found herself with no financial safety net. 

Lessons Learned: How to Protect Yourself Financially in Marriage 

Suzette’s story is one that too many women relate to—finding themselves financially vulnerable after divorce. Looking back, she realized there were steps she could have taken to protect herself. 

1. Always Have Your Own Financial Safety Net 

Suzette’s mother had always warned her, “Baby, always put a little aside for yourself.” But she ignored that advice, believing that because she and her husband were “a team,” there was no need for separate finances. 

When the marriage ended, she was left with nothing. If she had set aside even a small emergency fund, she would have had something to fall back on. 

2. Keep Your Own Career and Income 

During her first marriage, Suzette had her own job and financial independence. The second time, she was fully dependent on their shared business. When the divorce happened, she lost not only her marriage but also her career. 

Women must maintain their own income streams, whether through a job, investments, or a side hustle. 

3. Don’t Feel Guilty About Financial Independence 

Many women feel guilty about having their own money. Suzette believed that setting aside money secretly would have been dishonest. But as she later realized, self-preservation is not betrayal. Financial independence is crucial, even in the most loving marriages. 

4. Understand Your Legal and Financial Rights 

Suzette didn’t expect to be removed from the company she helped build. But legally, she had no protection. Women should educate themselves on their financial rights and ensure they have legal safeguards, such as contracts and prenuptial/postnuptial agreements. 

Rebuilding After Divorce: Finding Strength and Purpose 

Suzette’s post-divorce journey was painful, but she found ways to rebuild her life. 

Seeking Emotional Support 

Divorce doesn’t just impact finances—it affects self-worth and emotional stability. Suzette turned to therapy and self-help books to regain her confidence and sense of self. She immersed herself in personal development, reading books like Love Is a Choice to reshape her understanding of relationships and self-worth. 

Finding Creative Ways to Make Money 

With no job or income, Suzette had to get creative. She leveraged her skills to start offering newsletter design services for a Mary Kay director. That small side hustle turned into a paying job, giving her the first stepping stone toward rebuilding her career. 

Embracing a New Mindset 

One of the biggest shifts Suzette made was realizing her value. “I had more confidence in helping my husband build his dream than in building my own,” she admitted. 

By changing her mindset, she started seeing new opportunities. She asked for help, networked, and eventually found her way to financial stability again. 

Thriving After Divorce: Suzette’s Life Today 

Today, Suzette is remarried—to the true love of her life. She is also a proud grandmother and a successful business owner. 

After years of struggle, she now owns her own bookkeeping company, which generates enough income for her to focus on her passions—coaching, writing, speaking, and podcasting. 

Her life is proof that, no matter how devastating a setback may feel, there is always an opportunity to rebuild, reinvent, and thrive. 

Final Thoughts: Advice for Women Facing Divorce 

If you’re facing or recovering from divorce, take these lessons from Suzette’s story: 

✅ Keep your own financial identity – Always have personal savings, credit, and financial independence. 
✅ Educate yourself on financial and legal rights – Don’t let love blind you from protecting yourself. 
✅ Seek emotional and financial support – Therapy, self-help books, and professional advisors can help you rebuild. 
✅ Believe in your ability to create wealth – Your skills and experience are valuable, even if you don’t see it now. 

Divorce is not the end—it can be the beginning of a new, stronger, and more empowered chapter of your life.